Love is easy, beautiful, peaceful, and fulfilling. But despite all the lovely adjectives, I fear love. I pull away as a way of protecting my heart. It’s easier that way. The pain of rejection is too much to endure. And be vulnerable? No thanks! But something felt different; I felt different. I don’t know when it happened. And how it happened in and of itself was random and magical at the same time, but I let my guard down and fell in love with someone. And not just anyone. A beautiful soul! Someone so special and at times so connected that it seems we are vibrating on the same energy frequency.
Two people not supposed to be there, but circumstances shifted and there we both were. Unknown to either of us what was about to happen. This was something neither of us were looking for or expecting. We were there to learn, but the lesson we were about to learn had absolutely nothing to do with the material sitting on the tables. As soon as the introductions started, I was drawn in. Who was this man? There was something about him and I needed to know more. And thankfully, he felt the exact same the minute I walked through the door. By the end of the first break, I had been slipped his business card and as they say…the rest is history!
Our time together is limited (way too limited) and after the last time we were together, I promised myself and the Universe if I was given just one more time to be together in person, I’d say what I needed to say and not shy away from speaking my truth. Not because I hoped it would change anything, but because everyone deserves to know and feel love. I needed him to know what I was feeling. I needed to say it out loud and in person. I don’t want to ever live with regrets.
That chance came recently. The Universe gave me the time I had asked for. Events in my life unfolded in an almost unbelievable way that put us together. It wouldn’t give us much, but it was all I needed and exactly what I desired. There he was – we were together again! Almost surreal how the world and everything in it drifted away when he walked through the door. Our evening together was perfect; just as it always is. We opened ourselves up and spoke with such clarity, straight from our hearts and I finally got to say what I’ve been feeling from the start – I love you!
This lifetime may or may not be the one for us and I’m ok with whatever outcome unfolds. I know in my heart our love will always be regardless of others involved or the circumstances or distance life throws our way. He’s a beautiful soul that my soul resonates with on a deep level. I don’t know when it happened or how, but it did, and I couldn’t be more grateful. I don’t know what my future holds or his or if we will ever be, but I don’t even think about it anymore. I’m living in the moment. Each one brings me true joy and that’s all that matters. I know what we share is deep and real and will always be.
I’d take this connection a hundred times over if I could. Connections are truer as we get older and learn to love ourselves. We get to be selective about those we want in our lives. We get to choose to surround ourselves with only those that bring us joy, love and accept us. And he does just that. This man sees me – the true me! He allows me to shine and that’s all I’ve ever desired. While the rest have always tried to dim my light, he enhances it. He allows me to shine bright; shine like the diamond I know I am.
I love knowing that from the time and energy I took investing in myself that I attracted this beautiful individual into my reality. It blows my mind how two strangers can meet and within minutes be so drawn and connected to one another the way we are. Life is weird how it works out, but weird in a good way! And it always does work out. Maybe not the way we envision it, but it’s always to our benefit in the end. And if it doesn’t feel that way, then it means it’s not the end.