These are the Days

These are the days of our lives that matter. And someday these days will be a distant memory. We never realize it in the moment, but someday you will miss these days. Life has been hard lately – very hard for all of us. Each in a different way, but each one of us has experienced a very different life over the course of the past year. The ongoing pandemic has affected our lives. Some changes may be permanent and others temporary. Some we judge as positive and others not, but we all are still here taking it one day at a time and learning to adjust to living our lives in what is being called the “new normal.”

Just like the rest of you, I have days that I don’t know where I’m heading or if I’ll ever see the light. And then I catch a glimpse and know the Universe is on my side and things really will be ok (all in due time). But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss the days I never knew I loved. Sure, I was happy but didn’t realize how happy. And then the world shut down and the walls closed in. The good times were ripped from me in an instant. I couldn’t be greedy, and dare complain because I had a beautiful place to call home, friends and family were always only a phone call away, my career was still going strong, and had the sweetest dog to keep me company while I binged series after series on Netflix. But that’s not life. Life is meant to be lived to its fullest. We are given a fresh start each morning to live our best day. And the pandemic took that from us.

Those days before the word, pandemic, was a regular part of our vocabulary were the good days and I miss them! I feel like I’ve lost so much. I often catch myself staring off into the distance and remembering how it used to be and wondering if it will ever be again. And if it’s a bad day, my mind will wonder long enough to even fear that those days may be gone forever. I hate what the isolation has done. People need people. I don’t care if you are the most anti-social, introvert human alive, you still need the interaction of another human from time to time. I can say with 100% certainty that I am not sure I will ever miss the days of the pandemic. In fact, I long for the day this is all a distant memory. It has divided us all on so many levels, But I think everyone will agree on one thing – it has been going on for far too long.

While I will likely never consider these the good days or miss them once their gone, something positive has come from it all. And that is my appreciation for time. I’ve come to enjoy the small moments more. Those things I’d never given a second thought to previously or maybe took for granted are now so valued. Nothing is more important to me than the time I get to spend with those so special to me. The days of our lives truly are limited. There is only so much we are given and that is why we need to live in the moment. Take risks, do things for ourselves (not what others expect), smile, be nice, but above all LOVE. We will never be given these days back. There is no do-over.

So, when someone finds me lost in thought and asks what I’m thinking, I am thinking about the moment. How great it is! How much I am loving what I am doing or who I am with. Because in that moment that is all that matters. I treasure my days and am making an honest attempt to make the best of each. I don’t know when it will happen, but it is going to happen and one day these days will be gone. For that reason alone, I refuse to live with regret or remorse. I am working to change the conversation I have with myself so when that day comes (and it will – it always does), I will see these days as days I miss. They will never be the best I’ve lived, but these too can be good days that are apart of my story rather than pages I’d wish could be torn out. We don’t get to pick our pages, but we do get to live our story and write the ending.

I don’t want to miss out on life anymore. I want to stop staring out the window and wishing for things to be different and reminiscing about how good it was. I am finding ways to make these days matter too. Because they do! It’s now that I am doing this, not when I have this then I’ll do it. It’s not this can wait until I have that because it doesn’t have to wait. I am looking at what’s happening now in these days and taking the chances and opportunities to make these days good days.