engraved-heart-sand-beach.jpg

Heart vs. Head

It’s wrong – OMG – it’s so wrong, but every moment so right. This has all been a gift. We are just ourselves. We are beautiful!

My eyes open wide, gazed into the limitless possibilities I see in yours. I’m lost repeatedly in you and what we share. You fell into my life in the most unexpected way. All fun and exciting until it became real. I woke up and realized I love you. All such a tease that sometimes makes me bitter and other times lights me on fire with joy. A feeling too good to be true that often stirs doubt.

In my mind, it’s impossible and wrong. But my heart speaks a different story. My heart speaks the truth. I’m in the flow and living according to what’s being presented to me in the moment and in this moment that’s everything my heart desires. I’m ignoring the noise that surrounds me and ignoring the noise in my head. My heart is speaking, and it will always be the loudest.

I’m tired of being patient – I’m ready. My dreams won’t wait. I’m done allowing other’s perception to influence my life. I don’t care what others think. Other’s thoughts mean nothing. I’m tired of over analyzing, worrying why and how this is happening, or what may be to come.

But lately, I’m confused. Which path do I follow? My heart has never led my astray so why would I dare to doubt it now? But time is moving, my patience wavering, and my head is trying to get in the game. Things are shifting and I’m changing. My world is opening in unimaginable ways. Maybe the time has come for me to step back and see the bigger picture for what it really is. One without me in the frame.

Many times, I become unsteady and get scared of the unknown. The mystery that surrounds the timing pulls at me. But I’ve come this far, I need to continue trusting. It’s a game I’d lose and in fact won’t even play. But I won’t dare sit the bench and watch my dreams drift away. There are many times when I feel like forfeiting, but then something happens to snap me back. Back into trusting and believing. You say I have the luxury of walking away, but that’s a lie. It’s impossible to walk away from a dream. My heart won’t allow it.

Why is adulting so difficult? Or is it? We have no one to blame but ourselves if we feel it is. Life isn’t meant to be hard! We make it that way with our projections, expectations, and thoughts. Going with the flow is the way we are intended to live. Forcing situations to get the result or answer we want to hear or see is not the best approach. In fact, it will backfire every time. But sometimes the answers aren’t clear. The signals are mixed, and each direction will lead to more unknown. So yes, it can be scary at times to be an adult. It’s unnerving to say, “I’m giving up – You take the reins – I’m out”. But if we quiet the noise and listen to our heart, it always knows the direction to take.

Our hearts’ desires while likely still unseen, are always being worked. I can promise that! And while always good to loosen the grip, it’s never ok to give up. You never know if you are only 10 feet or 10 minutes from it all. Listen to your heart, for it is always speaking. But you can only hear it when you’re ready!

And I’m ready!!