Don’t ask my favorite flower so you know what to lay in my casket. Don’t ask my favorite song so it can be played on repeat during my funeral. Don’t stand over my lifeless body with tears streaming regretting you didn’t show emotion when I was lying next to you. Don’t keep telling me “not right now”, when now is all we have. And don’t tell me someday, our love will be perfect. I don’t need perfect – love me now.
Why do we hold back our love? Why is showing emotion viewed as scary, needy, unstable, crazy, and the list continues…The answer to these questions will likely always be a mystery, but we are missing out. Love is what we are. It’s what each of us are made of. And it is meant to be shared.
There are many definitions of love, both as a noun and as a verb. But to make it easy, love is us. It’s not a feeling, a desire, or a form of affection. In fact, all those cheapen what love truly is. You can’t actually “fall in love” because you already are love.
But you don’t understand, I’ve loved and been hurt. Sure, I do! We’ve all been there, but that experience was meant for you. And look at you now, sitting here reading this post as a stronger human because of that experience. You loved and learned. You did not love and lose. Life throws everyone curves. Past experiences with prior relationships cause hesitation, cultural expectations put pressure on finding a partner and “settling down”, fear of rejection leads to physical and emotional pain…all the various reasons make it scary to put yourself out there knowing pain may ensue if all does not go well. BUT go all in! You miss 100% of the chances you don’t take. (A very wise (and sexy) man told me that).
Now is all we have. So, what are you saving yourself for? These are your best days. These are the days that are meant to be shared. Don’t sacrifice your happiness for the sake of others. Don’t wait to act on all you desire because the timing isn’t right. The timing will never be perfect. And who are you to judge the timing of when things are presented to you anyways? That’s a decision that is not within your control. Don’t hold yourself back from all that is intended for you out of fear of losing it.
Would you believe the fear of falling in love is an actual phobia? It is! It’s called philophobia. This can also be used to describe having a fear of getting into a relationship or having a fear of being unable to maintain a relationship. Many people experience a minor fear of falling in love at some point in their lives. But taken to an extreme, philophobia can leave people feeling isolated and unloved.
As a society, we’ve become so desensitized to the idea of sharing love. Life has gotten too busy for anyone to take the time to see the beauty in the possibilities and opportunities lying in their life path. Instead, we keep pushing it until tomorrow saying, “not right now.” We don’t allow ourselves to experience the happiness in all that is possible because it has become socially unacceptable to make ourselves happy.
Start questioning what is holding you back. Identify your fears, question the facts, find the truth behind your justifications from sharing yourself. Lower the walls you’ve built around your heart. Leave the past where it belongs and fearlessly go create a future sharing love. I think we’d all be amazed if we would look ahead with our eyes wide and hearts open. Love NOW because tomorrow is not promised.